Dunkin’ Donuts Hates Rave Kids

Dunkin’ Donuts announced today that it is recalling 1 million pink and orange glow sticks. The company said the recall is because the sticks pose choking and strangulation risks to small children, but we all know what’s really going on here. Dunkin’ Donuts hates rave kids!
Finally, a huge company does something right.

Have 920 Calories Before You Even Get to Work!!

Hardee’s unveiled the Country Breakfast Burrito today and I felt like I gained five pounds just reading about the damn thing. The CBB is two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. If you act now (or later), you’ll also [...]

More Layoffs Coming at AOL

It’s nice to see that things at AOL have stayed the same since I was laid off earlier this year. It seems that the online giant midget is preparing to cut 2,000 jobs. The moving boxes have already arrived at the AOL headquarters in Virginia.
I post this because it reminded me of the day I [...]

Don’t Mess With Texas — They’ll Fry Your Ass

Now that I typed that headline, I realize that it sounds like this is a story about Texas and its love of the death penalty. After all, that is pretty well documented stuff. No, this has nothing to do with the death penalty. Instead, this is about a different type of frying, primarily of the [...]

Evander Holyfield and the Karaoke Singer

I just saw this on comcast.com when I went to check my email. Think it was an accident that the Holyfield story is stacked on top of a headline about someone having their ear bitten off? Shit. Now that I’ve taken a screenshot, cropped it in Photoshop and uploaded it to WordPress, it’s not [...]

Pepsi vs. Coke: The Great Soda Wars Bubble Up

I’m all for being proud of where you work, but I can’t imagine ever punching someone who worked for a competitor. But, this is exactly what happened recently, when a Pepsi delivery man punched a Coke deliveryman in the face at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania. (Reportedly, this was at the same Wal-Mart where two men [...]

Is It Wrong to Say Owen Wilson is Unstable?

“Hey Tony Jenkins, you are so effed up! I think you want pamela! Why would you say that about Owen Wilson? See what you have to do to earn a living? You think you’re so stable??? CREEP!!!”
This was a comment someone made in response to a blog entry I wrote for Vegas Pop about Pamela [...]

What to Do With Me When I Die — FIRE! FIRE!

I’m not dying or anything, other than in the sense that we are all in the process of dying, but I wanted to clarify, for the record, what I want done with my body when I do kick it.
First of all, and my drivers license confirms this, you can take my organs and do [...]