How the Gene Simmons Sex Video Has Scarred Me for Life

There are things I’ve seen during my life that I will never forget. This is especially true of those that I wish I COULD forget. Things that fall into the “wish I could forget” category include watching a car smash into a parked DOT truck on the interstate, then getting out and seeing a [...]

My First Sleeveface

I just took my first Sleeveface photo. It’s not the most inspired, to be sure, but it’s hard to argue with Neil Diamond. I must go find more records now.

Hey Mexicans - Learn the Language or Get Out!

I work at a large media company. I mention this so you’ll understand why this bumper sticker, which is on a fellow employee’s car, is even more disturbing to me than it would normally be.
I wouldn’t be surprised by this display of narrow-minded ignorance if I worked at, say, a Wal-Mart, but I am surprised [...]

Scamming for Girl Scout Cookies

Since I enjoy Do-Si-Dos, Samoas and Thin Mints as much as the next guy, I was initially pissed off when I read the story about a group of Girl Scouts in Westminster, Colorado who were scammed by a couple with a fake $100 bill. (Good thing the couple didn’t try this at my neighborhood Kroger.)
But, [...]

The Motherfucking Def Comedy Jam Motherfucker

I finally got around to watching the new version of Def Comedy Jam last night and all I have to say is fuck motherfucker, what the fuck?
The “comedians” that were on the show seemed to care nothing about the craft of standup comedy and instead relied on saying fuck, motherfucker, shit and nigger every other [...]

Alone on Valentine’s Day?

If you’re a single woman on Valentine’s Day, there’s hope for you. Just give Bobby a call. He’s got big ol’ brains and will keep you in the bedroom so long they’ll put your face on the back of a milk carton.

Cop Attacks Skateboarder and is NOT a Dude!

There are a few words to describe this Baltimore cop who attacks a young skateboarder, but “dude” is not one of them. He is not man, he is NOT dude! He is officer Rivieri. I love how the cop asks, “Are you from the county or something?!?” They must have some real hooligans leaving out [...]

This Video Will NOT End Racism

This is easily the worst attempt at fighting racism that I’ve ever seen. First of all, it portrays racism as a harmless “You Can’t Do That on Television” episode, where the worst thing that happens is you get “slimed.” Slimed!?! I think that black men would much prefer that over tasers and billy clubs. [...]

Please Clean up Your Wiener Poopie

Jesus has been kidnapped!! He’s being held for ransom until Jean Mansel of Kent County, Michigan cleans up her wiener poopie. Please Jean, clean up your wiener poopie. Trust us, we see you take your wieners for long walks without picking up their poopie. Shame on you!!

Best Uses for an iPhone

I got my iPhone for Christmas, and it didn’t take me long to fall in love with it.
It’s great that I can check my email, find out the weather, and get directions from almost anywhere. The camera is also cool, and much better than the one on my old phone. This means that the shots [...]

Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile

If I were you, I’d take precaution…

Tom Jones Insures His Chest Hair

When I think of Tom Jones, a few things instantly come to mind; my dog (I named her Delilah after his hit song), the guy’s powerful voice and the Carlton dance. But, one thing that I never think about is Tom Jones’ chest hair. And I don’t say that in a macho, “dude, I don’t [...]